Reading Male Body Language

Instructions
Read Him Like a Book
Step 1:
Pay very close attention to his eyes. The eyes are the windows to the soul, right? You will be able to tell what he's feeling just by looking into his eyes. If he makes direct eye contact and holds your gaze, he is trying to show that he's interested. However, if he avoids eye contact completely, he is either trying to avoid you or he is feeling intimidated by you. A quick wink or frequent blinking both indicate interest and a desire to get to know the other person better. Also, take note of quick eye angle changes and changes in pupil size as indicators of increased awareness. Enlarged pupils express heightened physical interest.
Step 2:
Secondly, pay attention to his stance. A guy who is standing erectly with his chest out and his hands at his side is showing others that he is a confident alpha male looking for a suitable companion. This is an open stance that indicates a desire to be approached. If he has his arms folded across his chest, it may signal that he is insecure and uncomfortable with himself. A closed stance like this shows that this guy is not ready for a relationship. Also, pay attention to his facial expressions. Men typically show less emotion than women, and as a result, their expressions are often more reserved and harder to decode. However, this means that when he does show an obvious expression on his face, then it is genuine and should be taken seriously.
Step 3:
Be aware of negative body language signals such as lack of eye contact, poor posture, hiding of the hands, mumbling, stuttering, mispronunciation, extraneous body movements, and darting eyes. These gestures indicate that he is either insecure, uninterested, bored, keeping something from you, lying to you, or nervous. Negative body language is basically a sign that he is not interested in you, anxious to get away or even just nervous to be around you. If you feel that he is nervous, try to make him feel more at ease by shifting attention away from yourself. Otherwise, take the negative signals for what they are, and get out of there. Life is too short.
Step 4:
Take note of the direction in which his body is pointing. If his body or certain body parts are pointing towards you, then there is a high probability that he is interested and wants to get closer to you. Pay attention to the direction his feet, legs, knees and face are pointing. When a guy likes someone he will subconsciously position himself in the direction of that person. On the other hand, if his face, legs and feet are pointing away from you, then he is expressing a subconscious desire to keep a distance. This is a tell-tale sign that he's not interested.
Step 5:
Pay special attention to positive body language signals such as prolonged eye contact, signs of dominance, direct or "accidental" touching, thumbs hooked into his belt, and preening. When a man finds someone of interest he will instinctively adjust his tie, fix his hair or do other things to make himself look more attractive. These are all signs that he is interested in you and would like to get closer to you. If you don't see any of these signs when interacting with a male that you find attractive, then chances are that he does not share the same interest. These body language signals are very important because a man will typically express himself through subtle, subconscious signs rather than tell you exactly how he's feeling.
Tips & Warnings
Learn to spot additional signals and cues by reading books written by body language experts. Find books on the subject at the library, local bookstores or online shops like amazon.com. The more you know, the better you will be at understanding the male species

How to Read The Romantic Body Language

Instructions
Read Romantic Body Language
Step 1:
Eye Contact. Eye contact is the first sign that will signal to you that he is interested. He will make eye contact for about 3 seconds and then look away. He then will look at you for a longer time. This type of flirtation using the eyes may be done in any setting. Another sign that shows he is interested is that his pupils will enlarge. Single people should pay attention when they walk through the grocery store or at the gym. Mr. Right may be looking in their direction.
Step 2:
Touch. Someone interested in you will pretend to “accidentally“ brush something off your sleeve or shoulder. When they laugh, they will lightly touch your arm. If you are sitting down, they may touch your leg. These are all intimate signs that she would like to get to know you better.
Step 3:
Smile and laugh. A smile shows you that they are happy being near you. She will smile at you and laugh at your jokes. A smile shows others that they enjoy being in your presence.
Step 4:
Stroking . She may slowly rub her arm while you are talking. It is a way of saying that she wants to be touched in this way. Or you may notice that she is stroking the stem of a wine glass or rolling an object between her fingers. These are all activities that imitate actions during sex. She is telling you that she desires to stroke you and touch you.
Step 5:
. Grooming. She will run her hands through her hair. She will toss her hair back or twirl it between her fingers. She is telling you that she wants to look her best for you.
Step 6:
Licking their lips. She will slowly lick her lips to bring your attention to them.
Step 7:
Leaning towards you. His body will lean towards you when you are talking. It may begin with the head or he could lean his entire body. This is a sign that he would like to be closer to you. Try leaning towards him. If he leans away from you, he is telling you that he is not comfortable being that close to you and he is not interested. A woman will cross her legs and point one foot your way.
Step 8:
Standing close. He will stand close to you while he is talking. He will enter the comfort zone that we normally keep when we are talking to people. He is telling you he is comfortable being near you and he is preventing others from getting in between the two of you during your conversation.
Tips & Warnings
Have fun in your search for a true love. Don't put so much pressure on finding him. It will happen when you least expect it.
Finding love is a journey that we all embark on. Never give up even if you have had your heart broken a million times. He is out there.
Love like you have never had your heart broken.

Body Language Secrets

We call them secrets because so few people seem to appreciate how important they are to body language. Each of the ten “secrets” listed below deserves a whole section but hopefully this page will provide a basic introduction.

1. Mirroring
This is the technique of consciously using your body language to mirror the subconscious movements and gestures of others - in a way that is subtle and unnoticed at their conscious level. This body language can include gestures, vocal tones, breathing rate, posture, attentiveness and even facial-expressions. It is important that you do not “copy cat” their motions as this will quickly become noticeable. The trick is to use similar body language postures or gestures approximately ten seconds after they have. It is harder to do than it sounds and requires practice to appear casual and natural. Mirroring is an important secret because it occurs naturally when people are building a positive rapport and by deliberately doing it you can send an encouraging message that strengthens the developing relationship.

According to NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) experts, this technique will build trust and liking in the person with whom you are communicating. You can apparently measure the success of your mirroring if, after a while, you introduce gestures that the other person hasn’t used and then they start to subconsciously copy you. It is at this point you can express your own desires and intentions with the greatest likelihood of the other person being agreeable. Both conscious and subconscious mirroring is most often seen in romantic and business situations where the relationship that is being established is fundamental to the success of the endeavour.

(Aquiziam footnote: We decided to test this technique to see if it really worked. We used it in several social situations and deliberately mirrored the actions of people we had just met. In all cases the communication flowed easily and a positive rapport was established. In an equal number of instances we deliberately, but with subtlety, tried to use posture and gestures that were the opposite of those that our test subjects had just used. In all cases the communication was uncomfortable and in four out of five cases the person with whom we were communicating left as soon as they could do so. We realise that our own autosuggestion may have influenced the outcome of the test but it was interesting and seemed to indicate that mirroring does have a definite effect.)

2. Body Form
The shape and condition of your body sends a message whether you want it to or not. It has become so socially and politically “incorrect” to comment or judge people based on their body form that this aspect of non-verbal communication is often ignored in explanations and teaching - but not in reality.

The secret is this: Humans do consciously and subconsciously judge others in this way. Pretending that they don’t won’t make it go away. If you see a very fat person then it is often (but not always) fair to assume that the person probably eats too much and exercises too little. Sometimes these people are very adept at deceiving themselves and others. At some time we’ve all probably heard someone say, “I eat like a bird but the pounds just pile on!” Actually, the truth is that in most cases they do eat like birds – like vultures. What they actually mean is, “I eat like a little bird when other people are watching but on my own I’m happy to eat six pizzas and a whole cake just for lunch.”

Doctors will often admit that they would rather trust what they see in a physical examination rather than what patients tell them. Someone who has well formed muscles and a fit physique probably has self-discipline. Someone who has broad shoulders and a narrow waist is likely to be more confident. Fat people are often physically lazy. Taller people are less likely to exhibit frustration. Of course there are also a lot of myths. There is no evidence that redheads are likely to be more temperamental or that men with heavy eyebrows are untrustworthy. Even so, we still judge people by the way they look. Sometimes the messages change over time. It is true that being overweight did once represent success and wealth when food was scarce and expensive. It is also true that many high-level (successful) company executives do still tend to be overweight. (It’s these damned business lunches!) However, fit and trim is now becoming a greater symbol of success.

3. Personal Body Language / Mood Tells
Some body language is very specific to an individual rather than a group or society. It’s trait that people develop as a response to how they are feeling that has little resemblance to general behaviour. For example; most people are likely to touch their lips or nose when they tell a lie. In the case of a particular boy he would always push his right hand into his back pocket. (Perhaps to stop himself from touching his face?) Once you work out what the body movement means it can become very useful when reading that specific person’s body language. These are often called “Personal Tells”. Almost everyone has them and in most cases we are completely ignorant of their existence as they apply to us personally.

A certain company Chief Executive would always start scratching the tip of his nose if he was irritated by what people were telling him.

A particular woman we know always starts making little sniffing noises if she doesn’t like the food she’s been served in a restaurant.

Perhaps the most unusual example was the case of girl we knew at university. Her boyfriend noticed that whenever she became sexually aroused she would start stroking her left earlobe with the thumb and forefinger of her left hand. Apparently she once said to him: “It’s amazing how you always know when I’m feeling turned-on.” In poker, professionals often study the other players to see if they have personal body language that can be used to “tell” whether they’re holding good or bad cards.

4. Environment and Body Language
Environment has a measurable impact on body language and the way that it is displayed and observed. Dilated pupils are often associated with arousal. However, pupils also dilate when it is dark. It is for this reason that candlelight has become associated with romance. In a study of theatre audiences it was found that actors performed better if the theatre seating was comfortable for the audience. The reason for this was that if the seating was uncomfortable the audience tended to fidget and sit awkwardly. Some even sat in a hostile way with their arms folded. The stage actors could see this negative body language and it impacted on their confidence. Even though the negative body language was irritation with the seating it still had an influence on the rest of the audience and the actors even though it wasn’t aimed at them.

The fact is that people react to their environments by displaying responsive body language. People cross their arms when they are defensive but they also cross them when they are cold. The landlords of pubs and bars know that their guests like to feel comfortable when they go out for a drink. They don’t want to see everyone standing around with their arms crossed. For this reason owners make sure that their bars are “warm and inviting”.

5. Face Maps
Whenever we smile, frown or use some other facial expression the skin on our face moves and compresses into lines (creases). In young people the high elasticity of the skin means that the when the expression changes the lines disappear. However as people get older, and the skin becomes less elastic, wrinkles form and very often these wrinkles are indicators of the facial expressions that a person has used most often. Therefore a woman with vertical mouth creases is likely to have spent a great deal of her life pursing her lips – an expression usually associated with disapproval. A Man with deep wrinkles in his forehead caused by frowning may have spent much of his life worrying. There are literally dozens of wrinkles that can be interpreted by the competent face map reader.

A much guarded secret of fortune tellers is that they can often predict your future – not by looking into a crystal ball – but by looking at the wrinkles on your face. These lines can tell a great deal about your personality and state-of-mind. Thus a person with very distinctive laughter lines around the eyes could be told: “you’ve been happy most of your life and will continue to be.” Reading the lines on a person’s face is difficult as it takes a lot of practice and there is very little written reference material on this subject. We will provide some detailed pages when we’ve done enough research. Still, some of the basics are just commonsense. See the pictures below.





Vertical lip lines - Disaproval (or Smoking)

Classic T-shaped frown lines - Hostillity

Crows feet - Laughter / Smiling


6. Brand Language
Big business has spent literally billions of dollars over the past decades to convince people to buy their products. In many cases they do this by creating brands with which people want to be associated. These brands are said to have values. For a long time Coca-Cola presented its values as “fun and family” while at the same time “Pepsi” was presenting its values as “daring and exciting”. Although people claimed that they chose their preferred cola drink based on flavour, most people were buying based on habit or brand value. The result: American kids bought Pepsi but American moms bought Coca-Cola.

Almost all major high-street brands have values and our choice about which products we buy can be used to better understand our personalities. People who buy Jimmy Choo shoes do so because they are good shoes … but they also choose them over other brands of good shoes because by wearing them they can make a personal statement to others that understand the “shoe fashion code”. The same is true of watches, jewellery, vacuum cleaners, cigarettes, clothes, handbags, pens and very definitely cars. For example; station wagons (estates) are believed to be chosen by practical people – sports cars by the adventurous. There’s a very detailed pseudo-science to this but at a day-to-day level we all make conscious and subconscious decisions about people based on this buying behaviour (and subsequent display of brands) as a source of information input.

7. The Magic of Cloning

Looking like someone famous can have its advantages and at the very least it ensures that you are noticed. When Joanna Lumley played the part of Purdey in the hit 1970’s TV series “The New Avengers” she had a distinctive hairstyle that people of the time had not seen before. It was quickly dubbed the “Purdey Bob” and within weeks’ women all over Britain were having their hair cut in the same style. Princess Diana also had a distinctive hair style that the public loved and it too was a “hit” with women. The truth is that looking like someone famous seems to pass-on some of their celebrity status. It also means that people seem to attribute some of the “talents” that the star might have – either as a character or as a person – to the look-a-like.

In the context of body language it is possible to be perceived in a certain way by resembling a famous character. Over the years many thousands of men have tried to copy the distinctive and sexy Scottish accent of Sean Connery and women have desperately died their hair blonde and straightened it to look like Jenifer Aniston. In fact, at one time – around about 2004 – a man could go to a Manhattan nightclub on any night of the week and be forgiven for thinking that the world had been taken over by aliens who were rapidly turning every female on the planet into a clone of Ms. Aniston.

Here’s the secret … If you wish to be perceived in a certain way then choose a famous personality with the characteristics you desire and find a way to look like them. Try and be realistic. If they’re tall and blond and you’re short and dark you need to find another person to clone. It’s weird and it seems a bit magical but it works. (Try and avoid plastic surgery!)





Stereotyping - The Doctor (Actor)
Stereotyping - The Astronaut (Real)
Commander: Robert Crippen - NASA
Stereotyping - The Fireman (Actor)


8. Selective Stereotyping
There are two parts to this – what to do and what to watch out for. Selective Stereotyping is the typical way most humans react to people that simply look-the-part. For example, you see a man in a white laboratory coat wearing glasses with a stethoscope tucked into his pocket. You automatically think he’s a doctor – somebody you can trust. But what if he isn’t? We tested this aspect of body language.

In November of 2008 one of the team borrowed a white coat and stethoscope and bought a pair of cheap prescription glasses. He then walked into a major public hospital holding a briefcase in one hand and a clipboard of papers in another. No one stopped him. The security guard even smiled and said, “Good evening sir.” Nobody even glanced at his ID card that was clipped to the jacket. If they had they would have discovered that the man was a member of a well known gym. They didn’t check because he looked the part.

Stereotypes are powerful! Firemen, police officers, security guards, doctors, soldiers, corporate executives, teachers, scientists, pilots, nurses, desperate housewives, prostitutes and street bums are just a few examples of people that have stereotypical appearances. Most people will react to you based on the way you appear. The same guy that played the doctor later dressed up like a bum and tried to get into a popular restaurant in London. Naturally, they turned him away. It was the same guy but just a different stereotype.

As humans it is natural for us to believe in the stereotype even though it is clear that this is just the effect of cultural training. Here is a warning. A white coat doesn’t always mean doctor. A short skirt and torn stockings doesn’t always mean prostitute. Here’s the secret: People will react to you based on the stereotype that you present. If you want to be perceived in a certain way then be prepared to play the part. In reality, everyone is an actor to some degree.

9. Body Signs
Bags under your eyes, purple nails, moles, hair condition, skin colour, baldness, dermatitis, acne, favouring, and skin tone are all body signs. These things are the signs that tell doctors, and everybody else, about our general physical condition.

The secret is that this is body language at its most basic and, as such, often overlooked. All of these “indicators” are telling other people about us. A pallid skin colour may mean too much time indoors. (Writing for Aquiziam) Purple toes or finger nails may indicate poor circulation. Favouring one leg over the other or limping may indicate bone disease or injury. Bags under the eyes may mean lack of sleep. Gout may well indicate excessive alcohol consumption. Our bodies are advertisements to our lifestyles and our health. At a conscious and subconscious level they are noted by other people. It is therefore human nature to try and hide them. Makeup hides acne, Botox hides skin aging and cucumber pads will even temporarily shrink bags under the eyes. It is important not to jump to conclusions but it is equally important to pay attention to yourself and others.

It is possible to learn a great deal about a person by simply observing the signs in an objective way. Here is a good example. After years of working in a very stressful environment employees of a senior vice president noticed that whenever he became angry the pupil of one eye would grow large (dilate) and the other would stay small (contracted). Over time he seemed to become increasingly irrational in his decision making. Finally some brave person mentioned the “eye thing” to him and he had it checked out. The doctors found a brain tumour. He’s fine now … thanks to the way that his body advertised that it had a problem. We’ve used medical examples but it applies to many other areas as well. The trick is to look beyond the obvious and what we are used to seeing. With practice it is possible to see what others can’t. (Please note, this is not medical advice. If anything that you have read (or seen) has caused you concern then please consult a fully qualified medical practitioner.)





Bags Under The Eyes
(Lack of Sleep / Smoking / Genetic)

Pink / Purple Nails
(Diabetes / Cardiovascular)

Poor Skin Tone
(Age / Alcohol / Rapid Weight Loss)


10. Contagious Body Language

Studies done on the “mirroring effect” have clearly shown that people will often subconsciously duplicate the body language of others in a one-to-one interaction. However a similar effect occurs in groups. If you are in a crowd where lots of people are laughing then you are much more likely to laugh too. If you go into a room where people are standing with their arms folded in a hostile way then you may feel defensive and cross your arms as well. The secret is that the more a group displays a certain type of body language the more likely it is that they will reinforce each other’s perceptions and physical behaviour. This is a critical component of communication with very practical applications. For example: If you wish to enjoy an evening of romance you are more likely to be successful in a place where other people are also displaying courtship behaviour. This is because their body language is contagious. To see the proof of this just visualise sports matches, parties, riots, nightclubs and protest marches. The most obvious example is clapping – one person starts it and then suddenly you’re clapping too. The more people that clap the more likely it is that you will join in.

Key flirting tips for men

What makes a woman decide that you are worth a flirting signal – especially if she’s never met you before? Initially it’s your appearance and body language. Some say that it’s as much as 80% of her decision. We’ve already covered appearance so now onto body language. These are the top male body language (flirting) signals of the available and attractive male.

Stand tall – don’t slouch

Keep your shoulders back

Keep your chin up

Suck in the stomach

Look around – scan but don’t stare

Make eye contact with women (very important)

Position yourself at the centre of the action – you’re an Alpha Male

Move slowly and confidently

Lead don’t follow

Don’t cross your arms (unless its freezing cold)

Preen

Show off your physique – if it’s good.

Be groomed in a very, very, casual way

Laugh and make people around you laugh with you not at you

Display wealth – appear wealthy

Tuck your thumbs – not hands – into your pockets

What do Women Want in men

What do Women Want?

What do women want? Well that’s the toughest of all questions because more than half the time they’re not sure themselves. (We’re not being patronizing – just truthful.) What women want changes depending on their age, their culture, the century and the time of their menstrual cycle? For millennia, men pondered this question then, as their heads started to hurt, went and got drunk. Many still do. However, thanks to the internet and the sudden surplus of information available, it’s possible to finally understand this mystery.

This is what women want – most of the time – but they will happily settle for just some of it and, in certain cases, very little of it. Beware – it’s confusing. In general, women want men that are …

Tall rather than short (or at least taller than the woman)

Dark haired rather than Blonde

Handsome rather than plain

Masculine but clean (hygiene is important to woman)

A little rough and dangerous but safe and gentle – with them

Risk takers until they’re married and / or have children

Flat of stomach and small of butt

Broad of shoulder and narrow of waist

Wealthy or have future wealth potential

Leaders rather than followers

Able to make them feel good even if it means lying (convincingly)

Confident and relaxed

Popular with others but focused on them – the woman

Physically fit but not so it dominates their lives

Intelligent enough to understand them but definitely not a nerd

A little wild but tamable

Adventurous in their past and present but now adventurous with her

Unpredictable – for a while

Experienced with sex but prepared to give up other women for them

Good listeners

Definitely not weird – unless being weird is the norm for the social group

Able to dress with style and reasonable fashion

Loving but not possessive and stifling.

Prepared to walk away – if they really feel like it

Able to make them laugh! (Hugely important)

The Fetish Factors of Attraction

You probably won’t have seen this before because it is often just a bit too “taboo” for most people to appreciate and discuss. Basically it works like this. Almost every person alive has something specific that they find intriguing and attractive in the opposite sex that seems to defy the laws of common sense. By being aware of these you have that secret added advantage over your competitors. Some of the most common fetishes (and you can check these for yourself) are:

Attracting men …

Sexy female feet: 1,100,000 web results
High Heels: 12,300,000 web results
Sexy Uniforms: 395,000 web results

Attracting Women …

Uniforms: 890,000 web results
Look-a-likes: 670,000 web results (Est.)
Role Play: 340,000 web results

We’ve only listed three examples for each straight gender but there are hundreds. (Click Here).

A final thought on fetishes and body language is this. Men are currently more inclined towards fetish interests by a factor of 65% to 35%. Nobody is really sure why this should be. A final point, fetish behavior in females is growing year-on-year and should equal that of males by 2025. This may have to do with society relaxing its social female conditioning at an early age.

Why is this important? Well, if you know a person’s fetish interest and play to it with your body language then you have powerful “mojo magic” when it comes to attraction. Recently a guy we know noticed that a woman he works with seemed to wear a different pair of sexy high heels every day. One day she was in his office and without thinking he said, “Those are Manolo Blahniks aren’t they? They make your feet look sexy.” He swears she literally jumped on him. It turns out she was as turned on by wearing sexy shoes as he was by seeing them. A match made in Heaven

The Scent of Attraction

Not all body language is about what you see – it’s about what you touch and, very importantly, about what you smell. There’s two parts to this …

A) Pheromones: This is still a hotly debated subject but here are the basics. Pheromones are airborne chemical signals (scents) that are produced by one creature and cause a compulsive and instinctive reaction in another of the same species. A very common pheromone is one that triggers a sexual interest reaction. It is believed that humans do produce and react to pheromones but the scientific evidence is sketchy. One anecdotal, but strong, case for the power of pheromones is the dance floor. When a large group of people get together in an energetic and enclosed area there is also a dramatic rise in sexual awareness. This may be caused by the concentration of pheromones in the air. In our hygiene focused world the idea that sweat and body odour can be appealing is surprising but there is a lot of evidence to suggest that a little can be. Eight out of ten women said they were most attracted to their partner after he had worked out and then had a quick shower. This makes sense as he would be both clean (very important) but still scented with Pheromones. The same number of men said they were often very aroused by a woman who had just worked out whether she had showered or not. We’re not sure about this but it does bear thinking about.


B) Good Smells and Bad Smells: The perfume industry worldwide is huge. This alone should be proof of the importance of smelling right. The human body produces a vast range of smells and some add to attraction but many can have the opposite effect. The Bad smells are usually anything that is associated with illness, poor hygiene or filth. For example, smelly feet indicate athlete’s foot disease. Bad breath indicates possible tooth decay and long-term sweat may indicate poor personal hygiene. Humans are consciously aware that most diseases can now be controlled or cured but subconsciously they remain terrified of them. Smoking, stale coffee, oily hair, alcohol, wet clothes and skin oils can all create unpleasant and unattractive odors. The first rule is to eliminate them.

Good smells are those that suggest cleanliness, health and comfort but are not so strong as to be overpowering. Light perfumes for women – heavier musk perfumes for men. Fresh smelling clothes and lightly scented hair are good. Comfort smells are those that people associated with good things and make people relaxed and open. Apples, cinnamon, fresh mown grass and vanilla are all good examples. One woman we know claims that she always dabs a hint of chocolate essence on her neck as well as her perfume and claims it works wonders. (Who knows she could be right.)

The basic rule is this: A bad smell is very bad and is a big turn-off. A good smell won’t draw the opposite sex compulsively to you but it will send the right message

Love at First Sight

How fast can you really size up a partner?

You walk into a party and head for the bar. Suddenly someone is beside you, offering to get you a drink. You begin to talk. Almost immediately you're struck by the eerie feeling that you may have just found Mr. Right. But that's crazy, isn't it? Or is it? Can a person really know something this life-changing so fast?

Yes. We are built to instantly size up a potential partner, an intuitive skill that likely developed millions of years ago as our forebears struggled to rapidly sort friends from enemies. And while today we may not need to protect ourselves with a strong, virile mate, we regularly make up our minds about whether an individual could be an appropriate match within the first three minutes of talking to him (or her).

Indeed, it takes less than one second to decide whether you find someone physically attractive. Too short, too tall, too old, too young, too scruffy, or too scrubbed—he's out. If, however, he fits your general concept of Adonis, your mind races toward the next checkpoint: voice. Once again, you respond in seconds. Women typically regard rapid talkers as more educated and men with full, deep voices as better-looking than they are. Next: his words. We like people who use the same kinds of words we use. We are also drawn to those who have a similar degree of intelligence, share our religious and social values, and come from the same economic background—and we quickly determine these attributes from a man's words (not to mention how he dresses and wears his hair, whether he's carrying a briefcase or a soccer ball, and if he's sporting a gold watch or a tattoo).

But can this handsome, deep-voiced, well-dressed stranger give you what you need? Even on the bigger questions, we often form an opinion within the first three minutes if the conversation turns to, say, politics or kids. So when you do feel an immediate click, go ahead and trust your instincts.

Still, love at first sight doesn't happen to everyone. In one survey by Ayala Malach-Pines, PhD, of Ben-Gurion University in Israel, only 11 percent of the 493 respondents said their long-term relationships started that way. As for the rest of us? Psychologists say that the more you interact with a person you like (even slightly), the more you come to regard him as good-looking, smart, and similar to you—unless you discover something that breaks the spell. So it's wise to hang in for a second meeting. It can take years sometimes for two people to fully appreciate each other. But whether it's love at first sight or love in hindsight, those first three minutes are essential for romance.

Share

Dealing with a Moody Co-Worker

Step 1:
Act friendly regardless of her mood. Even if you nearly get your head bitten off, putting your best foot forward can never come back to haunt you. Other co-workers will take notice and you won't run the risk of becoming known as the rigid snob at the office.

Step 2:
Remind yourself that your co-worker's mood more than likely has nothing to do with you. If the person at work is especially moody, do your best to stay out of the line of fire until he has had time to calm down. The problem might be less severe if you wait until the next day or the next week to interact with him again.

Step 3:
Find out what's wrong, if the moodiness hasn't always been your co-worker's personality trait. Sometimes a person might just be waiting for someone to ask what her problem is so she can share it. Though this won't always help, it can begin to smooth things over with a person who is just going through a rough time.

Step 4:
Let it out when appropriate. Even if you do your best to downplay an uncomfortable situation, you might still be steaming on the inside (and rightfully so). Don't create more of a problem by bashing the moody co-worker to anyone who will listen. However a certain amount of venting your frustrations to a close friend, close co-worker or your spouse can do your temperament a world of good.

Share

Create Your Ideal Relationship

Things You’ll Need:

Yourself
Your sweetheart

Step 1:
Assume nothing; envision everything. Do not assume that there is only one or two (or ten!) ways to have a relationship. There are infinite ways to relate and conduct a romantic partnership. Envision the possibilities!
Step 2:
Keep your eyes on your prize. Just as you must never compare your one-of-a-kind self to another, you must never compare your one-of-a-kind relationship to another. Every relationship--whether a monogamous union or an open partnership--is unique to the individuals who inhabit it. Besides, you can never really know what’s going on in somebody else’s relationship. Instead of focusing on the relationship of Ingrid and Jose from across the street (or for that matter, Brad and Angelina from Hollywood), focus your relationship and what you can do to ensure it is as healthy as it can be for you and your partner.
Step 3:
Speak your deepest truth. Revealing your desires can be scary when those desires seem to waiver from the generally accepted truth about the way a relationship should look. You may worry that your partner will reject you if your ideals fall far outside the mainstream. If you are ever to have the type of relationship you truly desire, however, you must honestly express what that ideal relationship means for you.
Step 4:
Encourage your partner to share his or her deepest truth. Ask your partner, “What is your ideal relationship?” Do not assume that you already know the answer. And don’t freak out if the answer turns out to be different from what you expected to hear. Differences needn’t break a relationship if you address those differences with compassionate creativity.
Step 5:
Seek relationship role models. Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham aren’t married. Neither are Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. Filmmaker Tim Burton and his wife Helena Bonham Carter are married with one child, yet live in separate houses next door to each other. It isn’t just famous couples approaching relationships in creative ways, so keep your eyes out for relationships you admire.
Step 6:
Hold onto the big things, let go of the small things. An ideal relationship supports your spirit on a fundamental level. An ideal relationship allows you to be yourself completely. An ideal relationship feels like home. Know what basic elements need to make this your reality--and let everything else go.
Step 7:
Trust that you will have the relationship you desire. For many years I only seemed to meet and date men who thought my version of an ideal relationship was eccentric and bizarre. Eventually I met a man who, when I confessed my “quirky” ideas about love and partnership, said, “That sounds great!”
Step 8:
Ignore skeptics. People love to criticize, analyze and characterize anybody with an idea outside the mainstream. People will say that you have commitment issues, that you are selfish and immature. They will tell you to grow up. They will assert that if you and your partner do not get married then you don’t really love one another. They will make you believe that if you don’t wed and raise a family then you will be lonely all your life and die alone in a gutter. These ideas are ridiculous. Your reality will be what you make it. Always trust your deepest voice.

Share

What Men Want in Women

Instructions


Physical Traits

When is comes to a woman's physical attractiveness, men pay attention. Men want someone with them that they find good-looking for a number of reasons; one reason is that they want to show off their woman to other men. It feeds their ego when they have a physically attractive woman on their arm. Men are attracted to women with physical traits that suggest she is healthy, such as long and beautiful hair, a bright smile with white teeth, a narrow waist, a clear complexion and a healthy weight.


Personality

Men want to eventually find that special someone with whom they can grow old. Truthfully, they want a woman who is reminiscent of their mother (in certain aspects): someone who can create home-cooked meals, take care of household duties and nurture them. They also want a woman who is sexy, positive, kind, smart and driven, someone who doesn't complain or nag and who wakes up in the morning already gorgeous. They want a woman who is rational and who will be their cheerleader, who will support them throughout their lives while also being their intellectual equal. Men also want someone who will love them for who they are in spite of their flaws. Men basically want the same thing women want, which is to be loved.


Lifestyle

Men want to be a part of a woman's life---not all of it. Men want women who have their own thing going on. Women who have friends, a job, family obligations, and daily routines are attractive to men because it shows them that she is capable of running her own life. If a woman has nothing going on and her life revolves around her man than he will feel pressure and a sense of being trapped. Ambition is also attractive to men. A woman who is striving to reach her goals and who works hard is very sexy. It shows that she is not just floating through life waiting around for a man to provide for her. Additionally, a woman who is fit and concerned about her health is very sought-after because such concerns display that she wants to look good and that she cares about herself, which is also sexy.

Share

Telesales Techniques

Instructions


Step 1:
One of the most critical aspects of telesales is your voice when dealing with prospective buyers. Sales is a tough field and you may become discouraged when your sales are down. However, it is important that you do not project this emotion into your voice. The last thing a prospective buyer wants to hear is a morose telesales representative--this gives him no incentive to buy from you. Project warmth and enthusiasm. Greet him pleasantly but professionally. He should hear your smile through the phone and your passion for the product you are selling.
Presentation

Step 2:
Prepare your selling strategy before making the call, and prepare for each gatekeeper you may have to encounter before you are transferred to the appropriate party. Be amiable while introducing yourself and politely state why you are calling. Do not give empty answers. The gatekeeper is present to screen you and will hang up if you are not allowing her to do her job. If you maintain a professional and confident demeanor, she may send you through.

Once you have your prospective buyer on the phone, the question is: Can you make the sale? This is why preparing your presentation before making the call is so important--you will know your objective and how to achieve it. Do not read from a script; you'll sound too rehearsed. Know your product, believe in it, ensure that it meets your prospective buyer's needs, and you will make the sale.
Rejection

Step 3:
Do not take rejection to heart. Rejection in telesales is a natural occurrence because people will not always want to buy what you are selling. Look at the positive side of telesales when this occurs: You are not face-to-face with the prospective buyer. He will not recognize you if he ever sees you. Chances are the minute he hangs up the phone on you, he has already forgotten you. You should do the same. If you are selling a marketable product, you will find buyers. The reason rejections occur vary:

Some people would rather to see who they are buying from

She is simply not interested

He cannot afford it

She is in a bad mood

Whatever the reason, based on the result of your call, you can usually determine whether the prospective buyer is a "Call Back" or whether it is time to move on to the next.

Share

Fire Tips For Instant Dating Success

Tip #1 -- Get the complete attitude, not just a bunch of separate “strategies.”
If there’s one message I can get across to you, it’s that you need to avoid using only clever “tricks” for picking up women. These tips you’re about to read all work, but they require a certain attitude to back them up, or a woman will see straight through you.
The word you need to learn is “congruence.” This means that your actions match your inner beliefs.
I’m sure you’ve met someone that didn’t seem to actually be on the inside what they were presenting on the outside.
Keep in mind that women have a very heightened sense of radar for this sort of thing, and they can see things about your behavior that you had no idea you were communicating.
So while you’re reading these strategies and tips, remember that there is an underlying attitude to be developed as well. Don’t just emulate a bunch of tricks and tips and hope to come off with this congruence.
It doesn’t work that way. You need to effectively present the complete attitude so that you can understand from the bottom up what a woman looks for in a man


Tip #2 -- Be careful of looking like a player or “over-qualifying” her.
A lot of women are intimidated by men that come across as almost too secure or too cocky. They seem like “players.” This is because a guy that is too confident with women can forget to establish the right feelings before establishing his confidence.
What you have to do is establish RAPPORT and TRUST while you're giving her the James Bond smile. Be smooth, but seem like a real flesh and blood man.
You have to come across as human.
Remember that part of the equation is feeling self-confident, but that doesn't mean she has to trust you or feel comfortable around you.
So shoot for the confidence as you work on building rapport with her.
Always remember that what you think you're communicating with your confidence may not be received and interpreted the way you want. Confidence is a combination of many small behaviors that add up to the overall total self-confidence of a man.
If you're not achieving congruency (your actions = your beliefs) then you'll trigger alarms in her head and she'll lose her feelings of trust.
I believe that most guys want just one good woman, and that's the primary reason we get obsessed when we find a woman we really like. We realize how rare a good woman is, and we want to lock her in as soon as possible.
You want to avoid over-doing it. Acting aloof or distant is the wrong angle to play early in the game. You want to appear unflappable by her behavior, but not too distant from her.
Again, you must be human. She has to feel that you've got a heart. (And hopefully you do have one!)
Remember: Act with a laid-back confidence that she can trust.


Tip #3 -- How to Manage Pain
I saw a demonstration a while back of some Marines doing chin-ups to boost enlistment. I noticed the t-shirt one of the bigger guys had on, and the message was brutally honest and clear:
"Pain is the sensation of weakness leaving your body."
That got me thinking about the nature of pain, and how it functions in dating and seduction.
The most important thing for a man to do as he learns how to handle women is to keep his head on straight. Keep your attitude healthy, because that will be the ultimate weapon in this war of the sexes.
You must keep yourself on the positive upward spiral. The way you handle your pain in the singles world is critical to your overall success.
How do you view pain?
Do you avoid pain at all costs? Do you find yourself seeking only pleasure and staying away from circumstances that could potentially cause you pain?
I address the pain/pleasure motivational spectrum in my e-books, THE DATING BLACK BOOK and THE SEDUCTION METHOD, and I want to help you through a little of your own anguish here right now. How you handle pain will ultimately determine the level of your success.
You see, you have to be willing – and even a little eager, as sick as that sounds – to go through a little discomfort to get to your goals with women. Men don't have the built-in sexual instincts that women are brought up with.
Women study this stuff every week, from reading “Teen” magazine to “Cosmopolitan,” and they know how the game works and how to play to win. They've always had the upper hand.
Guys just start out at a natural disadvantage in dating and sex. As young men we focus on being strong providers and enjoying ourselves, playing football and 'reading' Penthouse from time to time.
Our sexual education is mostly comprised of a few bad porno movies, or our embarrassed father trying to explain the birds and the bees. (My dad's attempt was really bad. I walked away more confused than before he started talking.)
Women got busy learning the truth as soon as they discovered that Ken dolls were not anatomically correct. They learned how to collaborate and talk with other women about the drama of their relationships for enjoyment.
To get better at the game of dating and seduction, think of it being something like when Michael Jordan decided he wanted to switch from basketball to baseball.
Remember way back when Michael tried playing ball in the major leagues, but he had to go back to the minors to prove himself?
You need to understand that YOU have to go back to the minor league, too. You need to get a few bumps and bruises, and then you can deal with her in the major leagues.
(Unlike Michael, you CAN and WILL make it to the major leagues in this sport if you keep learning and improving.)
So how do you manage the pain? First of all, realize that the only pain you feel when you're out there in the "dating" world is all self-induced. You are the one making yourself feel bad or inadequate 95% of the time.
Understand that most women never do the things you are afraid of just for walking up and talking to her, like slapping you or throwing a drink in your face. As long as you're not a complete idiot and don't come on too strong, women will give you a chance about 90+% of the time. All of the rejection you’re so worried about is imagined, and absolutely none of it reflects on you as a person.
So how do you contend with the constant disappointment and mixed messages?
Pain Management is your answer.
Set a threshold of emotional investment with women so that you limit your potential pain from them. If you find it difficult to flirt and hit on the ladies because it's too painful, back off a bit.
Just say "Hi!" as you pass them on the street. Reduce your energy output so that you don't feel intimidated by her response. When you get sufficiently recharged, then you can start to risk more contact with her again, and you'll feel more up to the challenge.
Another form of pain management is to ensure that you interpret women's reactions correctly. It's easy and tempting to read too much into her behavior, and even more difficult to not take her reactions too seriously.
Remember that while you're trying to get into her bed, you should never try to get into her head. You need to keep your observation of her behavior based only on the results you get. Watch only what she does, not what she says. Her actions will tell you what she is feeling, even when her words seem confusing and contradictory.
If you get caught up in the game of trying to figure out why she didn't call, or why she always flirts with other guys when you're around, you'll create a lot of pain for yourself. Stay as detached from her as possible at the early stages so you can avoid getting misled and confused.
The primary rule for pain management is the same as it is on Wall Street:
Only invest as much as you can afford to lose.
Too many guys get into trouble by putting too much of an emotional investment out there, and then when they don't get the response they feel entitled to, they turn bitter and angry. Don't make this mistake.
Manage your pain, and you'll be able to stay in the game longer, and your endurance and tolerance will rise dramatically - as will your results. You'll feel your insecurities around women fade away with each step you take.
And remember: Pain is nothing more than the sensation of weakness leaving your body.
Manage your pain and you’ll be able to improve by leaps and bounds.


Tip #4 -- Beware the Friend Zone
Once you’ve entered the “friend zone” you have almost no hope. The only way you can overcome this is by having a crystal ball to go along with your brass balls.
Allow me to explain:
A woman may entertain the notion of turning a friend into a lover, but it occurs only once in a hundred times of her hanging out with him. It’s a mood, fleeting and temporary.
If you don’t know when that mood is, you’ll bomb big time.
And even if you get the timing right, chances are she’ll come to her senses and think, “Oh, no! I don’t want to ruin our friendship…”
A man often wants to make a girl “friend” into a lover, but doesn’t realize that women don’t want to risk the loss of the friendship. This situation is mostly a symptom of “scarcity” thinking on the part of the guy.
A man should be so busy meeting new women that his friends and women he’s already dated can be comfortably forgotten. A man only gets focused on “converting” a friend because he believes his options are limited.
Let’s just play the odds here: If you were in Vegas and you were given either 50/50 odds to win, or only a 4 out of 100 chance to win, which would you take?
Duh, you’d have to be an idiot to take 4% over the 50% odds.
Yet this is what men do all the time when they try for a woman that has already placed them in the “friends” category.
You end up spending ten times more effort (with very little hope of return) on this gal, when there are millions of other women are waiting out there that you could start out with the right way from the start.
Again, this goes back to a man’s thinking. If he believes there are no other women out there, or he thinks he lacks the skill to go meet them, he’ll fall back on the women he already knows.
Partly because he’s built her up in his head so much that he’s pushed himself into love with her, and partly because he’s brainwashed himself into believing that this woman is so fantastic.
Women do not like to ruin friendships. Period. And that’s most of the reason they would avoid going into the “romantic zone” with men they’re already friends with.
And the reason a woman only considers a man a friend is that he’s already failed to push her attraction mechanism buttons to get her interested. Her nervous system has already tuned you out.
Now, it can be done, but it requires a real cocky attitude that isn’t afraid to tease her and amp up the sexual tension between them. And the guy has to be willing to lose her as a friend to do it. In fact, he has to be willing to give her up first, and say, “You know, Tina, I think we’d be really good together. So I’m afraid I can’t be just friends with you anymore. Maybe we’ll find that spark between us if we don’t have that getting in our way.”
But, again, this takes an almost complete turnaround in attitude on the part of the man, so that she can see his Alpha characteristics.
Instead of wasting all that time and energy on a low probability of return, why not place your odds on a winning game? Use my strategies and tips to get her attracted right from the start, and you’ll have no problems that will put you in the “Let’s just be friends” category.
Remember, guys, the “friends first” myth will sink you. She has to feel powerful sexual attraction first.


Tip #5 -- The most effective strategy for getting women
There are two parts to this strategy:
The first part is using humor and teasing.
The ability to make a woman laugh is probably your number one asset. I've gotten girlfriends – and laid – more just by using this one simple trait alone, and it's amazing just how far you can go with it.
We all want to laugh, and stable, sane women love to laugh.
If you don't have a well-developed funny bone, now is the time to work on it. Consider this: Not very many people are funny. I've gone to stand-up routines where I sat there feeling horribly embarrassed for the comedian and his feeble attempt at jokes.
I realized that true comedy, on the level of the old Eddie Murphy or Robin Williams, is pretty rare.
So don't feel bad at all if you're not a one-man laugh machine. You don't have to be a great comedian to get women to laugh. The interesting thing is that most women will laugh with you out of sheer nervousness; all they need is a gentle poke in the ribs.
Humor conveys many different things. It shows a certain level of relaxed self-confidence all its own. You can't demonstrate a sense of humor without displaying a little confidence at the same time.
Humor also shows you don't take life too seriously, and that you're not so intense that you can't crack a joke about the silly parts of life around you. It lets a woman know she can breathe a little and not be so intense and serious.
The best kind of humor to use is teasing. You have to be judicious about its use, but a good tease gets a woman's attraction started, and it also demonstrates a great deal of challenge to her. Teasing can be done as lighthearted fun, or used as what some refer to as a "negative hit."
Teasing lets a woman know you aren’t intimidated by her, and you have your own source of confidence. This is immensely powerful in attracting a woman.
The second part of this strategy is what I call the sexual tug-of-war, or “The Dance.”
There is a pattern here that you need to recognize so you'll understand why setbacks occur and why they should not trouble you in the slightest. Inspiring a woman's attraction is a dance.
You, as the man, are required to initiate. It's a fact, and it’s another one of my Truth principles.
Remember those old dance diagrams that show you the outlines of shoes on the floor and numbers to tell you where to step?
Well, here's your dance pattern: The dance of interaction you want to achieve with a woman is always two steps forward and one step back. And the rhythm is slow and unhurried. For every two advances and initiations you take with her, you must be willing to stop and step back, giving her space to breathe.
It's amazing what a little space to think will do for a woman's attitude when it comes to appreciation and her recognizing what you have to offer. Most men are afraid to put this to work for them, afraid that if they back off or let up on the intensity of their romantic assault on the women, she will lose interest and forget about him.
The opposite is actually true. By backing off and giving her space at a strategic point where you sense that she might be feeling a bit closed-in and maybe even smothered by your advances, you will give her the room she needs to breathe, think, and start to miss you.
Once you've established an initial attraction, and if you have been able to keep a good level of trust without losing your mystery and challenge with her, a woman will want to find out more about you.
Very often, she just needs you to step back and let her know that you're not going to run her over. This will give her added comfort and trust in you, as well as demonstrating that you have self-discipline and self-confidence.
Only needy and insecure men overwhelm women with a constant barrage of affection. You show your interest with hints, not beating her over the head.
If you've been dating a woman for a while and find that you have reached a stalemate, where she appears to be resisting all further advances, your best bet is always a strategic withdrawal. Take a step back and apply your self-discipline. Give her an opportunity to miss you before you head back in and go after her again.


Tip #6 -- How to get a woman into a more intimate mindset
Kinesthetics is the next step after you’ve managed to get a woman interested in you initially. This is where you start to awaken her sexual attraction through strategic touching.
One of the first things you must realize is that men, on the whole, start touching women far too early in their interactions. Men are tactile beings, just as women are. That is, we're gropers. We long for the soft touch of a woman's flesh, and the neat little parts of her that seem to beg for our hands to go exploring.
What we men lack is self-control. It's difficult for many of us to hold back, especially because men’s initial attraction begins with visual curiosity -- we see a pretty gal, and then it becomes a craving to touch her. From that point on, we are fighting our own natural desires.
Most men mistakenly believe that by forcing our touch on the woman, we can stoke her flames of desire by showing our interest. Well, we can and we can't, as we shall see.
In general, on the first few meetings with a woman, whether it's over coffee or a three-course meal, show some restraint. A lot of restraint.
Let's put it this way, it's better to hold back too much than to make the mistake of demonstrating physical attention too soon or inappropriately.
For the end of a first meeting, I usually go for a quick hug, which lets her know that I'm not needy, and that I'm confident enough to demonstrate a little touch. Balance your distance with a measured amount of flirtatious behavior, just enough so she doesn't think you're a cold fish. The objective is to give her just a little less physical attention than she desires initially.
On the first meeting, you should make one or two small kino (short for Kinesthetic) maneuvers. The best one is a simple – and brief – touch to her arm or shoulder.
EXAMPLE: If you're in a Starbucks and you need some more sugar for your coffee, get up, start to walk around her, and then place your hand on her back gently as you ask her if there's anything you can get her. Remove your hand after a second. Don't linger too long, or you'll defuse the power and possibly risk her discomfort. Or, if you both have to cross a street, offer her your arm. She will be impressed.
What you want to do is build up her anticipation. Every woman wants to know what the man’s touch feels like, the sensation of his skin against hers. There's a great deal of power in the novelty of this – the newness. She hasn't touched you before, and part of your job is to keep her wondering about it long enough that she will respond positively when you do. You tease this part of her mind when you give her an unexpected hint of what is to come.
Don't touch her too early, and make sure the touch is no longer than a second, so that she knows you're not going to start pawing her.
Build her desire through anticipation.


Tip #7 -- Don’t wait for a woman to initiate
Women will initiate sex when they feel they have the freedom from social judgment that they normally live under. This means that her internal “slut complex” must be silenced.
A woman doesn’t want to feel promiscuous in any way. So a man must give her opportunities to act on her sexual desires (which are often stronger than a man’s, by the way.) To do this, a man has to offer her an escape. Usually this is by removing her from the environment in which she normally lives, by getting her away from her friends and her family, isolating her in a “fantasy world.” Here, she can feel safe about acting on her own sexual desires.
The key is to drive up her physical attraction to mind-blowing levels, and then give her the opportunity to act on them.
Some women will simply never be the first to act, until she’s been made comfortable enough with a man to express her own desires. And many women repress their sexuality. (Though thankfully this is much less so than ever before.)
So you cannot wait for her to make the advance on you.
It never pays to wait for the woman to initiate. A man (an ALPHA Man) must always be ready and willing to act. A woman will only initiate when her own level of desire for something overcomes her internal mental limits, and when she feels that she has been liberated of judgment by others.
A lot of guys wish women would initiate sex, but that’s not likely to happen until a woman has established a relationship where she can feel trust, or pulled her so far out of her environment that she can feel liberated of her inhibitions.
In the beginning, you have to be willing to risk making the moves.


Tip #8 -- Two BIG mistakes a guy can make with women
Mistake 1 - Talking too much: (especially about yourself): This includes bragging. You want to focus at least 70% of the conversation on her. Her experience is that the man who listens to her will understand her, and she believes that the man who understands her will be a good lover. The reverse is doubly true – if you yammer on and on, she'll nod and smile, but she'll be thinking about what a bore you are, and how unlikely it is you'll give her good loving if you’re so caught up in yourself. Take a lesson from the great talk show hosts. Watch them as they ask questions and get everyone laughing during the interviews, and they don’t need to always be talking themselves. They draw out the guest to feel good and talk freely.
Mistake 2 - Not relaxing: Don't be hyper and visibly nervous. If you aren't relaxed, you'll convey nothing but desperation, and she'll be repelled. Women are not attracted to manic, hyper men.
Take some time before the date to relax and let go of your anxiety and expectations. I find that I'm most relaxed meeting women after I've exercised really hard. I'm at ease, the endorphins are in my bloodstream, and my overall confidence is higher. Try that for a relaxation therapy. Overall, the more women you meet and date, the more you'll be able to relax around them.


Tip #9 -- Should you ever try to win back an ex-girlfriend?
This depends on the terms and situation of the breakup. If she initiated the breakup, the man needs to back off completely. Chances are that he made the mistake of being too insecure or clingy with her, and failed to demonstrate true Alpha Man traits when he had the chance.
Once a woman’s attraction has been lowered to the point where she breaks up with him, it’s rare that she’s going to return. (Usually, this only happens when she hits a bad spell of insecurity and nostalgia.)
Again, as we spoke about with the “friends” situation, a man could get 5 new women for every ex-girlfriend he tries to regain.
This is a symptom of “one-itis,” where a man believes that this woman is “the one” for him. He’s blinded by insecurity and scarcity thinking. He has to root out the behaviors that created this situation first, and get his manhood back in place first.
Pursuing an ex without repairing the fault is like pulling off the road when your car overheats, and then trying to start it up and drive it right away. You have to find out why things went wrong and fix them or you’ll blow it all over again – perhaps for good.
The only situation where it may make sense to get with an ex is when the man broke it off with her, and he decides it’s worth trying again. Not because he couldn’t find anyone else, but because he now understands that she was actually a better fit than he originally imagined.


Tip #10 -- How to Handle Eye Contact
The best place for most men to start working on their confidence and attracting women is by making simple and consistent eye contact.
This doesn't even mean you have to do it with women initially. Try keeping strong eye contact with your dog, as silly as that sounds. Then work on up to keeping eye contact with the salespeople you encounter.
Then work up to the receptionist at the front desk of the place where you work.
Then with your peers and associates.
Next, try locking eyes with women you pass on the street. Then, work your way up to increasing the amount of time you hold that contact.
Before you know it, you’ll feel a new sense of authority and confidence.
Why is eye contact so important?
First, strong eye contact (not freaky-psycho staring) is an indication of dominant, confident behavior.
Second, you'll notice that so few people can maintain any kind of eye contact back.
Third, inconsistent eye contact is an indicator of insecurity and possibly untrustworthy character.
Fourth, your eyes can communicate an incredible amount of information. Eye contact is a short-cut to female responsiveness. When you lock eyes with a woman, you're saying, "I'm interested, and I’m confident enough to show it.”
You'll find that the more you do this, the easier it gets. And it will radically improve your game with women.

Share

Get An Angry Customer to Back Down

Play Video

Speak Body

Assertiveness

Interpersonal Skills

Negotiation in organizations

Listening skills

Sales Presentation Skills