The World's Eight Worst Handshakes

Here are eight of the world's most annoying and disliked
handshakes and their variations. Avoid them at all times:

1.The Wet Fish
Credibility Rating: 1/10.
Few greetings are as uninviting as the Wet Fish, particularly
when the hand is cold or clammy. The soft, placid feel of the
Wet Fish makes it universally unpopular and most people
associate it with weak character, mainly because of the ease
with which the palm can be turned over. It is read by the
receiver as a lack of commitment to the encounter, but there
may be cultural or other implications - in some Asian and
African cultures a limp handshake is the norm and a firm
handshake can be seen as offensive. Also, one in twenty people
suffer from a condition called hyperhydrosis, which is a
genetic condition that causes chronic sweating. It's wise to
carry tissues or a handkerchief for mop-up strategies before
any bout of handshaking.
The palms have more sweat glands than any other part of the
body, which is why sweaty palms become so obvious. Surprisingly,
many people who use the Wet Fish are unaware they do
it so it's wise to ask your friends to comment on your handshake
style before deciding what you'll use in future meetings.

2.The Vice
Credibility Rating: 4/10.
This quietly persuasive style is a favourite of men in business
and reveals a desire to dominate and assume early control of
the relationship or put people in their place. The palm is presented
in the down position with one sharp downward pump
followed by two or three vigorous return strokes and a grip
that can even stop blood flow to the hand. Sometimes it will be
used by a person who feels weak and fears they will be dominated
by others.

3. The Bone-Crusher
Credibility Rating: 0/10.
A second cousin to the Vice, the Bone-Crusher is the most
feared of all handshakes as it leaves an indelible memory on
the recipient's mind and fingers and impresses no one other
than the initiator. The Bone-Crusher is the trademark of the
overly aggressive personality who, without warning, seizes the
early advantage and attempts to demoralise his opponent by
grinding his knuckles to a smooth paste. If you are female,
avoid wearing rings on your right hand in business encounters
as the Bone-Crusher can draw blood and leave you to open
your business dealings in a state of shock.

Unfortunately, there are no effective ways to counter it. If you
believe someone has done it on purpose, you could bring it to
everyone's attention by saying, 'Ouch! That really hurt my
hand. Your grip is too strong.' This puts the advocate of the
Bone-Crusher on notice not to repeat the behaviour.

4. The Finger-Tip Grab
Credibility Rating: 2/10.
A common occurrence in male—female greetings, the Finger-
Tip Grab is a handshake that missed the mark and the user
mistakenly grabs the other person's fingers. Even though the
initiator may seem to have an enthusiastic attitude towards the
receiver, he in fact lacks confidence in himself. In these circumstances,
the main aim of the Finger-Tip Grab is to keep the receiver at a comfortable distance. The Finger-Tip Grab
can also result from personal space differences between the
people in the handshake. This could happen if one person's
intimate space was two feet (60cm) and the other's was three
feet (90cm), the latter stands further back during greeting so
the hands don't connect properly.
The Stiff-Arm Thrust
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If this happens to you, take the other person's right hand with
your left and place it correctly in your right hand and say, with
a smile 'Let's try that again!' and shake hands equally. This
builds your credibility because you are telling the other person
that you think they are important enough for you to get it
right.

5.The Stiff-Arm Thrust
Credibility Rating: 3/10.
Like the Palm-Down Thrust, the Stiff-Arm Thrust tends to be
used by aggressive types and its main purpose is to keep you at
a distance and away from their personal space. It's also used by
people raised in rural areas, who have larger personal space
needs and want to protect their territory.
These people will even lean forward or balance on one foot to
keep their distance when delivering a Stiff-Arm Thrust.

6. The Socket-Wrencher
Credibility Rating: 3/10.
A popular choice of power players and common cause of
watering eyes and, in extreme cases, torn ligaments. This is the
father of the Bent-Arm-Pull-In, and involves forcefully gripping
the receiver's outstretched palm, then simultaneously
applying a sharp reverse thrust, attempting to drag the receiver
into the initiator's territory. This results in loss of balance and
gets the relationship off on the wrong foot.

Pulling the receiver into the initiator's territory can mean one
of three things: first, the initiator is an insecure type who feels
safe only within his own personal space; second, the initiator
is from a culture that has smaller space needs; or third, he
wants to control you by pulling you off balance. Either way, he
wants the encounter to be on his terms.

7.The Pump Handle
Credibility Rating: 4/10.
With strong rural overtones, the pumper grabs the hand of the
pumpee and commences an energetic and rhythmic series of
rapid vertical strokes.
While up to seven pumps is acceptable, some pumpers continue
to pump uncontrollably as if they are trying to draw
water from the pumpee.

Occasionally, the pumper will cease pumping but continue to
hold the receiver's hand to prevent their escape and, interestingly,
few people try to pull their hand away. The act of being
physically connected seems to weaken our resolve to retreat.

8.The Dutch Treat
Credibility Rating: 2/10.
Being somewhat vegetarian in approach, this handshake has
its origins in the Netherlands, where a person can be accused
of 'Geeft 'n hand als bosje worteljes' meaning 'Giving a handshake
like a bunch of carrots'. It's a distant relative of the Wet
Fish but stiffer and less clammy to the touch.

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